Grief Articles
Quote of the month
"The death of a baby is like a stone cast into the stillness of
a quiet pool;
the concentric ripples of despair sweep out in all directions,
affecting many, many people."
--De Frain, 1991
Stillbirth Information
What is a Stillbirth?
Stillbirth is defined as a loss after the 20th week of pregnancy in which
the baby dies before being born (a loss before 20 weeks is usually classed
as a miscarriage).
How Common Are Stillbirths?
Stillbirths occur in roughly 1 in 200 pregnancies, and the majority of
stillbirths happen in full-term or close to full-term pregnancies.
What are the risk factors for Stillbirths?
As with most pregnancy losses, stillbirths can occur without any identifiable risk factors, but there are some factors that are thought to increase risk. These include:
o Lack of prenatal care
o Health conditions in the mother, particularly involving high blood pressure
o Mothers older than 35
o Smoking, drinking alcohol, or using drugs in pregnancy
o Pregnancies past 42 weeks gestation
What are the Symptoms of a Possible Stillbirth?
Stillbirth can occur without symptoms, but doctors often advise women
who are more than 28 weeks pregnant to track fetal kick counts each day
of their pregnancy. If the kick count causes concern, for example if it
suddenly drops, your doctor may want you to come in for a test called
an NST that checks whether your baby is safe.
You may also experience abdominal or back pain and vaginal bleeding; this could indicate a condition called placental abruption. Always err on the side of caution and call your doctor if you are concerned.
What Causes Stillbirths?
The following are possible causes of stillbirth although the majority of stillbirths are unexplained:
o Problems with the placenta or umbilical cord (potentially caused by
the risk factors discussed above)
o Chromosomal abnormalities in the baby
o Infections
Should Parents Opt to Hold Their Stillborn Baby?
The answer is different for everyone: Some parents find that holding the
baby is essential for the coping process, while others do not want to
see the baby at all. No matter what the research or statistics suggest,
the decision should be made by the parents.
The hardest part is that couples may not know their preferences until it's too late. Some parents who do not hold their babies end up regretting it later.
What Should Parents Know About Hospital Procedures?
Parents usually have the option of taking photos and keeping a lock of
hair. In stillbirths there is usually the option of holding a formal funeral
and parents should inquire about hospital policies in that area. In some
cases, parents may also want an autopsy to be carried out to deterine
the cause of death.
How Can Parents Cope with Having a Stillborn Baby?
If you have suffered a stillbirth, you already know that coping is easier
said than done. You may be facing feelings of self-blame (even though
the loss was likely not your fault) or struggling to understand what happened.
The most important thing you need to know is that it's OK to grieve. Many parents feel a deep bond with their babies long before birth, and to have that bond suddenly broken through stillbirth is understandably traumatic. You do not have to justify your grief; well-meaning but ignorant friends and relatives may pepper you with comments like "You're young; you'll have another," or "It just wasn't meant to be." It is OK to grieve.
In dealing with your grief, try to be sensitive of your spouse. For moms, understand that your partner is grieving also, even if he doesn't express his feelings the same way. He may be trying to put on a strong front to support you. For dads, try to be patient with your partner and have a ready shoulder and listening ear. Talking about the loss may be therapeutic for her. Try to be on the lookout for signs of postpartum depression in your partner and suggest she see a doctor or talk to a counselor if you are concerned.
Everyone copes differently with stillbirth, but many women find that tactics such as keeping a journal or attending support groups can be therapeutic in coping with pregnancy loss. You may also like to try some of the suggestions for remembering your baby on our "Remember" page.
Sources:
www.about.com
American Pregnancy Association, "Stillbirth: Trying to understand." Apr 2006. Accessed 14 Nov 2007.
Hughes, P., P. Turton, E. Hopper, and C.D.H. Evans. "Assessment of guidelines for good practice in psychosocial care of mothers after stillbirth: a cohort study." Lancet 13 July 2002 114-18. Accessed 14 Nov 2007.
Wisconsin Stillbirth Service Program, "When Your
Baby is Stillborn." University of Wisconsin - Madison. Accessed 14
Nov 2007.